Your Value is YOU

Before one of our moves to an off-base house, I called to set up utilities. The kind lady on the phone asked, “What is your Social Security number?”

Shocked, I responded, “You want MY social?!”

I quickly went on to explain that we are military and no one wants my social security number! They always want my husband’s!

She laughingly responded as if they were doing me a great honor, “Well, WE want your social!”

This is just a humorous event that gave me a good laugh, but you know what I mean, don’t you? You know that almost always we military spouses answer the question, “What is your sponsor’s Social?” or “What is the last 4 of your sponsor’s Social?”

In a military culture that refers to us as “Dependents” and only wants our sponsor’s social, we run the risk of only identifying ourselves as who we are in connection to our military member. We run the risk of identifying ourselves as “just”. I am “just” a dependent. I am “just” a stay-at-home mom. I am “just”……

Or maybe you ARE the military member and even you feel defined by your own social security number, or your DOD number, or your rank, or your job.

Do any of these sound familiar to you? Have you ever said those words to someone? Or have you ever thought them? “What I do doesn’t matter. I am just…..”

Please allow me to assure you that you are not “just” anything. You are enough.

Regardless of whether you stay home with your kids or you are a career woman whose job has to change so rapidly you feel like you can’t get ahead or you are in the military and feel your life is not your own, you are valuable and you are not “just” anything.

I have had seasons when I defined myself, at least in my mind, by what I “just” do. Phrases like, “I just homeschool. I don’t contribute to our family’s finances;” and “I just volunteer at church. I don’t go on overseas mission trips;” and a million other “I just…” statements ran on repeat on the playlist of my mind.

When I allow these thoughts to replay in my mind, I am a mess! I compare myself to others who I believe are doing more important things and then I get discontent and a little depressed. Suddenly my life as a wife and mom is not enough. I question whether I should be doing more. I mean, other milspouses have kids and spouses and still work full-time, exercise and volunteer. What if I am not enough? What if what I do is not enough? When these doubts hit me, my words to others are short, I am grumpy, and I spend too much time wondering what I am missing instead of enjoying where I am.

However, when I am mindful of what I allow to repeat on the playlist of my brain, and when I pause the playlist, I remember my value is not found in my “just”. My value is in who I am. When I am confident in what I am doing, I stand taller, I walk with more confidence, I move with purpose. When I know I am walking out what God has chosen me to do, I speak more kindly, I love more deeply, I laugh more freely, I am more at peace.

Being a homeschool mom is enough. Being a stay-at-home mom is enough. Being the wife my husband needs me to be is enough.

At the end of the day, those are simply roles I play. Those roles do not define who I am. Those roles are not what makes me enough.

We all play a variety of roles during different seasons of our lives and some days we may feel like who we are is buried beneath the demands of those roles. But the truth is, you are enough regardless of the season you are in. Regardless of the roles you play.

Your role may be to work full-time outside the home. But who you are in the workplace is far more important than what you are paid for.

Your role may be to stay home with your children, but the way you love and pour yourself in to their small selves is what makes you enough.

Your role may be to serve in the military, but the integrity with which you serve is far more important than the job you do.

Your role may be to stand by your man who serves in the military, but the way you support him is far more important than the title of milspouse.

Your value isn’t found in doing the things you do; your value is in being who you are.

You see, value is found in walking out who you were created to be and that is enough. You don’t have to be more or less than who you are.

Who am I? I am a woman who fiercely loves my family, my God and my friends. I am the crazy lady who will smile at random people in the commissary or have a conversation with strangers almost anywhere I go. I am a friend who will listen. I am these things and more. And that is enough.

What makes you stand taller? What makes you move with purpose? What makes you laugh more freely? What speaks peace into your weary soul? THAT is who you ARE. And that is enough.

The next time you are tempted to let the playlist of “just” run on repeat, remember that you are not just anything. You are valuable and you are enough simply because of who you are.